This was a girl that had just celebrated her sweet baby daughter's 2nd month in the world.
This was a girl that also had an absolutely adorable 7 year old.
I just couldn't get my head around it. There was some serious denial going on in my heart. I prayed while my family members were talking it over and then I headed over to "Old Faithful" (Facebook). The flood of instant messages had me busy for hours. I lost count at how many people were lifting her up to Him. How many people are so involved in the journey God chose for me that THEY felt like they knew her. How many people prayed with me that day, that night, and the following days. How many people PROMISED me that they would CONTINUE to pray for her throughout her journey to healing. How many people moved my heart beyond measure.
I continued to keep you guys updated and I posted an update shortly after praying over her one night but I removed it shortly after (for fear that she wouldn't want me sharing the details of her at some of her bad moments). And to tell you the truth I cried like a baby that night after Daddy and Melinda went to sleep. I couldn't understand why God would move me to share such intimate details and hear that she wouldn't be comfortable with them. I messaged it to her so that one day, long after she'd gotten out of the hospital, she could look back and see my heart at that very moment. And she did. She read it shortly after she was moved from ICU and she wrote me back with a simple message that read: "I think it's fine & I thank you for prayers. Hopefully I can go home in a few days. Love you!" And although I was relieved that she wasn't upset or yelling at me through the computer, it wasn't very convincing. I was still so ashamed that I didn't even respond.
This morning, she wrote me another message that read: "Will you post that beautiful statement you wrote me the night you visited?" I immediately started sobbing. Had God heard my prayers? All I wanted to do was share with the everyone how I saw God that day. I didn't mean any harm. And you know what? He ALWAYS makes sure He gets the glory. It might be hours, days, weeks, months, or even years, but He's already won. He won at the cross. Praising God for allowing her to feel a little bit of Him through a little bitty girl like me :)
So here's what I posted to Facebook:
"Christie Cotney got to witness God AGAIN as I stood & prayed over Regina Duck a couple of hours ago. They wanted to keep her on the ventilator for 30 mins after she woke up & 10 mins had already passed by the time BJ & I got to go in. It was heartbreaking to watch as she kept crying & mouthing "I want to go home" over & over again. The nurse was really harsh with her so I spoke up & told her that if she remained calm, she could get the tube out in 15 mins. The nurse looked at me, said (in a really rude tone), "NOT NECESSARILY", & began to explain to her that she has a very serious infection (STREP - TYPE A), blah, blah, blah. I quickly interrupted her & said, "you know, you COULD give her some hope. Explain to her that if she stays calm, she can get it out sooner." It was as if God showed up at THAT VERY MOMENT. She turned & looked at me and then back to Regina. She explained, in a soft tone, what was going to happen step-by-step. Regina seemed so calm & was listening intently. Of course I lost it then. God's presence was just TOO OVERWHELMING. It reminded me of this picture! Praising Him tonight for that!"